I feel compelled to say this. If you take meds for mental illness to help you stay alive, or just as importantly, to move from surviving to thriving, do not feel ashamed or weak.
You did not choose to have a mental illness any more than someone chooses to have epilepsy. Don’t quit your meds just because you hear that big pharma has a conspiracy to medicate everyone.
If your meds help you, take them.
If you are worse off by not taking them, then take them.
Taking meds isn’t an alternative to having a spiritual life, and having a spiritual life isn’t an alternative to taking meds. They are tools to be used in conjunction, not exclusive from one another. Just like eating well and exercise.
Meds alone sometimes are not enough to keep me well. Most often, my meds act like a ladder so I can access other tools, which I use in conjunction with medication.
Medication isn’t bad. Attitudes like that perpetuate the stigma of mental illness. Those who have mental illness often buy into the stigma just as much as those who don’t.
Stop it.
Stop shaming yourself.
Stop shaming others.
Medication isn’t something to ever be ashamed of.
And just because you feel better on meds doesn’t mean you are ready to get off them. The opposite is true. You feel better because you are on them.
I understand the desire to take as little medication as you need to be well, but that doesn’t mean that no medication is the answer. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gone down that path, wanting to get off meds because I didn’t want to need them. But with age comes wisdom.
I choose to suffer as little as possible in this lifetime. I choose to thrive in this lifetime. If that requires medication to treat a condition I didn’t choose to have, I give gratitude every day that I live in a time and place where there are solid treatments that work.
This PSA is due to a dear friend who felt like he didn’t need medication for his psychosis, and we almost lost him yesterday.
If not taking meds makes you less safe, less happy, less fulfilled, then take your meds.
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© Copyright 2017 All Rights Reserved. Written by MaryElizabeth and posted with her permission on www.speakingofsuicide.com. All photos purchased from Fotolia.com.
I am disabled because of mental illness. The stigma that is associated with mental illnesses is real have encountered it at every turn. I was actually arrested and then beaten and had to be hospitalized for 4 days. The police report says I am disabled and on route that the police were informed by dispatch that in their house file I was flagged as being mentally unstable. The police department has a 30 page policy on how to deal with individuals with mental illness it says that the police are supposed to do anything to deescalate the situation as far as to get a pastor or priest to talk to me because the police are supposed to deescalate the situation. Yet the police ignored it and burst in and never said I am being arrested or even say anything to me. Instead they just tackled me and beat me. The court did not care. I am disabled on SSDI the police knew this and that people like myself do not have much money so they lied and charged me with anything they could think of. On top of it I broke my back and the surgery destroyed nerves in my back so my legs don’t work and I fall down all the time I have to use a walker or a cane indoors because my walker won’t fit inside. So I got a lawyer who was a bigot about my mental health illnesses so in defense I provided him with all my medical information also at the time i was on 15 different kinds of medication. So this lawyer did nothing to defend me and then actually used my mental health illness against me to the point that I was in a constant state of panic and mania I also have a head injury and chronic pain fatigue because I can’t sleep much due to my chronic pain so to make it short I had no idea of what was even going on and meanwhile the court keeps taking about my mental illness in a severe negative manner the court demanded that my counselor check in with them regularly to see if I was a dangerous to others they did not care that my consoler was telling them that I was not fit to understand anything about what was going on in court and that my lawyer refused to let me record our meetings or even write up what we spoke about in our meetings so to make it short my lawyer destroyed me deliberately and I brought my father when ever I spoke to my lawyer and my father also noticed that my lawyer was ignoring my disabilities and the lawyer was refusing to put anything in writing he never responded to emails i even spoke to the lawyer and email him as well with my father involved with it all that I did not understand anything that was going on that I needed a representative from the state to help me with my court case by coming to every appointment with my lawyer to be included with all emails and to be present in court with me. The response to this request was my lawyer telling me he was going to quit and through the whole case my defense lawyer would threaten to quit if I said anything he did not like the lawyer destroyed evidence. So the court knew I had mental illness but was only concerned if I was a dangerous to anyone else when I have never been violent in my entire life. The court did nothing to offer me help or even to ask if I can understand the proceedings. They put me on probation when I was not even convicted of any crimes I told my probation officer i had no idea what is going on that it is due to my lawyer and that due to my head injury and my mental illness that includes PTSD PANIC ATTACKS ALONG WITH ALL THE TRAUMA I SUFFERED THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD THAT INCLUDED RAPE CONSTANT BEATINGS AND THE CONTINUOUS CHILD ABUSE THAT JUST WITH STRESS I COMPLETELY FALL APART. so to this day i do not understand what happened only that I had no money to get a better lawyer and i could not afford to go to trial and that there was a plea that even at the time I was telling my lawyer my father that I had absolutely no recollection of doing a plea over zoom but that did not matter. All that matters is that I have been found guilty for so many charges that will probably keep me from getting housing so my future is to die on the street all because I have mental illnesses and suffering from severe chronic pain. If I never had inherited the mental illnesses. I would not have a record and most likely none of this would have ever happened. But when people see mental illness and disabilities they know you can’t fight back so they abuse you and even fear you or believe what you say. I have not been outside for over 2 years because I am terrified of the police and everyone else. I will never trust anyone for the rest of my life. Unfortunately my life will not be a long life or contain any hope or happiness. None of what i want to happen this is all because of corrupt bigoted police. I do not hate the police because hate only destroys you inside. I wrote this for if it can help just one person not go through what happened to me it is worth it so be very careful my advice is to try to find a lawyer that does specialize in mental illness and is a defense attorney because people like me are targets for the police it is better to find your lawyer now before you need one
Anonymous,
It’s awful and unjust that you’ve been subjected to so much abuse. Thanks for sharing your story here in the hopes of helping someone avoid the abuses you’ve endured. If you want to talk with someone at any time, you can call the 988 Crisis and Suicide Lifeline at 988, or text 741741.
Greetings
I was diagnosed about five weeks ago with ADD and Bipolar one by a Psychiatrist, diagnosed with GAD and depression since 2015 by my GP. I have been having a hard time getting used to my psych meds, as I was given Adderall for the ADD and Topamax as an addition for the Lexapro I was already taking for my Depression and GAD. It seems the Adderall is causing a lot of internal pressure inside of my head especially behind my eyes. He initially increased my dose after two weeks but went down to the initial dose because it seemed to be too much for me to handle.
I have chosen to not tell my family about my diagnoses. My sister is aware of my depression, but not of the other diseases. She herself is in need of some form of psychiatric care herself, but won’t do it. This type of treatment won’t happen overnight, and well, they are baby steps, however, even baby steps do go forward.
Right now, I’m trying really hard to get my life back together piece by piece, but the judgement of others makes it really hard, as I really have no support.
For the past two years I’ve been working on getting disability, and this also takes a very long time. My psychiatrist said he will help me get this. I hope this will happen as I have been denied twice.
I do agree that medications that work best and at the proper level do improve the lives of people. I can say that I am alive because of this fact today. From a small child I have always used medications, and because of that I could breathe and my grandmother told me about the time that I was starting to turn blue due to lack of oxygen. That is because this is one of the things that Asthma does to people. I also have had ADHD since I was a child, and now days I am having a very difficult time getting proper treatment, and I am worried what am I to do when I lose everything in life that I live for because I am not able to even function well enough to file my tax returns and I for the most part sleep all day and not able to make it to any place in the morning unless I stay awake all night. I go to sleep and am not even able to hear the alarm. I know that is two seperate problems, but all three of these are a major problem for me because of concerns of stimulants with them I am functional and able to go on with my life, and without them I’m wondering if I will even have a life, or even a life worth living. I know there is a concern of abuse of drugs, and I see that there is more of a concern of that, than the fact that the limiting of them is destroying my life to the point that I can see that I will soon be better off dead. Stimulants if taken properly are never a problem as if they are taken in the morning or at the beginning of each day, then by the time they wear off then it is time for bed and then take them again in the morning the next day etc. This is using the medication to have a life, if someone is taking them to stay up for days at a time, they are abusing them and risking death. How do I find doctors that are willing to help me that do not think of me as as someone looking to abuse drugs, just this fact alone makes me wish I was never born into this world. I currently have IHEP for a heath provider, and if it did not cost thousands to get the tests that I have done already with another provider to get the medications that helped I would just pay out of pocket even though I am getting some disability.
Good Afternoon Stacey. I just saw your post and I wanted to respond to your statement. I reference my story because it serves as such a great example. At no time was my son sent to see anyone except general MD and the sleep doctor. No testing of any kind was done ever no blood nothing. Regardless of what his underlying issues was he never received the proper diagnosis instead received a Hugh abundance of Benzo’s and SSRI. When I say long term studies I am saying how can there be long term studies for products that say ” intended for short term use”. As in the case of Seroquel here is an example for seroquel. In January 2004, the FDA approved Seroquel for short term treatment of acute manic episodes associated with bipolar disorder (bipolar mania). In October 2006, the FDA approved Seroquel for bipolar depression. The United States alleges that AstraZeneca illegally marketed Seroquel for uses never approved by the FDA. Specifically, between January 2001 through December 2006, AstraZeneca promoted Seroquel to psychiatrists and other physicians for certain uses that were not approved by the FDA as safe and effective (including aggression, Alzheimer’s disease, anger management, anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, bipolar maintenance, dementia, depression, mood disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and sleeplessness). Here is a link to the entire lawsuit. https://www.justice.gov/opa/pr/pharmaceutical-giant-astrazeneca-pay-520-million-label-drug-marketing. As in my case not knowing the under lying diagnoses of my son and the wrong medicine can have the wrong outcome. The bottom line is that education about the pros and cons of a drug along with the correct diagnose. I am not anti drug, if a care giver is truly doing what is recommended by the manufacture then the likelihood of a mistake is diminished. I am truly saddened by the cost I have paid to receive the education I now have.
[This comment was edited to abide by the Comments Policy. – SF]
Thank you for this information, Vicki. Indeed, you have paid far too big of a price for an education you probably did not want. Again, I’m very sorry for your loss.
Hi, I’m a 15-year-old teen that’s taking pills for anxiety (Obsessive-Compulsive disorder). I’m not ashamed of that, but I’m so terrified of life that I’ve been thinking seriously about killing myself. Yesterday I cried a lot without reason.
Justinianus,
That sounds very painful. Can you talk to the person who’s prescribing your medication about this? Also can you tell your parents, or another adult you trust like an aunt or uncle, teacher, minister/rabbi/imam, etc.
You can always call the national suicide lifeline at 800.273.8255 (TALK) to talk with someone right away, any time of the day, if you want.
You can also text the Crisis Text Line at 741-741.
And you can find other resources for suicidal people on Speaking of Suicide’s Resources page.
I really hope you’ll tell someone what you’re thinking and feeling, Justinianus. You can get help, and you can feel better!
Hello: I have said in my first post that along with Anxiety pills the need for education for parents is totally what I am after. Pills are designed to ease the events that cause the cycle. Learning the triggers of the cycles are key. Not only learning the cycles but also being able to speak with your doctor about the things in your life that are triggering. Learning to recognize the triggers and learning to respond differently is the key. I believe.
Pills alone can not fix this. Too bad some of our doctors don’t know this. and like in my son’s case the need for continued adjustment was always being done. In my son’s case he was given the mixtures on a continuous basis becasue he could not sleep, so my example is a great example of very serious meds being used for something other then what the intended use was.
So many general MD’s are quick to prescribe when pills alone are not the answer.
Your parents need to understand that the desire to take ones life is paramount and can be a direct side effect of the pills. Please get your family involved. Please ! Please have them call your doctor now and make the adjustment. Please I urge you please do not take your life. Please allow someone to get involved and help you. As a mother if my son had only said to me what you have said I would have stopped at nothing to do what it took. Please allow you family to help you.
This made me cry, but also helped me shift my perspective on taking my meds. Thank you.
thank you very much for speaking about this issue. As in our case the worse part for us was that a sleep doctor was administering very dangerous drugs for a sleep issue. during our son’s care we never knew what was being given, let alone the side effects of one drug but in his case there happened to be many. After his death and when I was able to get his records and go through them. I am sickened to see a sleep doctor continuing to administer such drugs and noting in his file that he was chronic and worsening and yet she just kept giving drugs on top of drugs. She would abruptly remove drugs like Seroquel then put him right back . At the time of his death he was withdrawing from Klonopin, Seroquel, Ambien, Propranalol . He was only 22 when he passed. If only I had known the side effects, what to watch for I would have been able to help him. because I did not have the education needed. I would love to see our laws changed to provide for proper education as a requirement. But HIPPA prevents that. I can tell you with out a doubt. a person taking meds can be told what to watch for however. Two days before my son died he and I spent the day together, he seemed a little down, nothing out of the ordinary. He talked about further plans goals and things he wanted to do. We ordered shoes and bought clothes. when we got home he asked me a question and as he was heading up the stairs to his room I answered him. Mike you can use your judgement, what does your heart tell you. Follow your heart. He turned around came down the stairs and said. ” No mom you don’t understand these drugs I’m on prevent me from feeling right and wrong I don’t feel.” I remember standing and watching him go back up stairs and feeling like omg he is in trouble but I don’t no what to do. I was unsure of what kind of trouble. But I knew something was wrong. He took his life two days later. I now know that if I had the education of what he was feeling I would know what to do now. I have had the privilege to sit with family’s telling my story and the last family I sat with the young daughter who is on the same combination of drugs , Seroquel & klonopin she said the same thing she does not feel anything not happy not sad . Her mother was there to learn info about the side effects of the drugs. She also learned that day about her daughter the same thing my son had shared with me about not being able to feel. The other missing link is that doctors are so quick to give pills, but when do we ever talk about the issues that are causing our unhappiness. Every Benzo and SSRI has a limit for how long to stay on it. Yet I have talked to people that have been on them for years. There’s no studies to support years. This all comes down to education about what your being given, education on what to expect and what to watch for.
Vicki,
I’m so sorry about your son’s death. You are doing untold good by using your family’s tragedy to help other families. Thank you.
I do have one question for you. You note that there are no studies to support the use of antidepressants for years. However, several practice guidelines recommend long-term use of antidepressants for people with multiple episodes of moderate to severe depression. Do you have a study in mind that refutes those recommendations?
A brilliant post, and very well said as it’s easy to feel ashamed in my opinion from my own experience.
They’ve helped me a great deal. Things aren’t rosy red, even with the pills, but they’ve made my anxiety and dark moods manageable.
That’s good news, Tore. I’m delighted you shared your positive experience, for others to see, because psychiatric medications get such a bad rap from many people.