Friends and Family
The grief, loss, and bewilderment following the suicide of a loved one can be overwhelming. Many reactions are common, ranging from everything from shock to anger to self blame to considering suicide for yourself. There are questions, so many questions. “Why?” “What if…?” “What could I have done?” And there are few, if any answers. […]
Teenagers often tell me that they do not like to talk with their parents about their suicidal thoughts. Some teens do not tell their parents at all. There are many reasons why teens lock parents out. The biggest reason that teens give me for not talking to their parents about their suicidal thoughts is a […]
“If someone’s life is so awful that they want to die by suicide, why stop them?” I am frequently asked some variation of this question, even by mental health professionals. Once, a therapist told me about a client of hers with schizophrenia. “He is miserable, and he will always have schizophrenia. I think letting him […]
To help a person deal with suicidal thoughts, you first need to know they have them. The challenge here is that many people who seriously consider suicide do not tell their therapist, at least not fully. What To Do? Shawn Shea, M.D., a psychiatrist and expert on suicide risk assessment, has described excellent techniques for […]
Many people are afraid to ask a person if he or she is considering suicide, because they fear the person will get angry. The thinking goes, if I ask about suicide, they will assume I think they are crazy or unstable. I have asked dozens and dozens – perhaps even hundreds – of people whether […]
It can be a daunting challenge for someone to bring up suicidal thoughts on their own. One study looked at 100 people who died by suicide the same day that they met with a mental health professional. Of these, only 22% discussed suicide with the professional. Of course, many people who seriously consider suicide do confide in others. […]
People learn about suicide at a very young age. They already know about it, so our asking about it does not give them the idea. Where you worry you may be planting a seed, a large tree has already grown. In case you have doubts, consider a research study conducted with adolescents. In this study, two […]
Often, adults agonize over what to tell young children when somebody in the child’s family dies by suicide. The question becomes even more painful when the person who dies by suicide is the mother or father of a young child. Some parents or other family members may want to lie to children about the cause […]
One night, a friend unexpectedly came to my house very late. Only after we had chatted for 15 minutes did she roll up her sleeve and show me why. Her wrist was bleeding. I rushed her to the hospital and struggled not to faint as doctors stitched up what she had cut with a razor. […]
You are walking with your best friend and she steps into the street without looking, forcing a car to swerve around her. You say, “Oh my God, you almost got killed,” and she says, “It wouldn’t matter anyway if I were dead.” Your son is home from college for spring break and has barely left his room. […]
